Something has happened to me over the weekend. Like a pebble thrown into a pond of water - splashing and rippling the tranquility of the surface, the change seemed evanescent but was indeed there. For I could feel it. I am alot more accepting and more honest; a little less hypocritical, a littel more loving. Most of this must be accredited to a friend who probably knows this already in heart although I had not the mouth to tell him.

A new outlook on life. I guess that's what changed.

All of a sudden, I felt the private things I could not have verbalized even to my closest friends I could now express openly to anybody. Everything seems a little 'less' of a deal. I wonder if this was good or bad. Correct me if I am wrong but if things can be expressed so easily and so frequently, shouldn't one have the right to be uncertain about the degree of preciousness or the meaningfulness of 'those things' said? Isn't that why gossips are so cheap and so worthless? Isn't that why first love is always memorable and meaningful? Isn't that why the three words 'I love you" in chinese carries so much more weight than that if confessed in the english language?

Nonethess, I should still be thankful to what happened this weekend even if it was entirely miserable and painstaking. For a moth that came right out of its shell, the world seems infinitly larger and brighter. For me specifically, remember that realm that has always been behind taht sealed door which I dared not touch? Well, I think I finally worked up a courage and opened up to let a slit of air in. And guess what, what's behind that door isn't a black hole that would suck whoever walks into it down its drain, like I had imagined for a good 10 years.

To my surprise, a shower of sunshine welcomed my smile. =)