the lost

Living in a big city can sometimes be confusing. Everyone becomes a planet of a solar system, where each rotating planet circulates around each other within a big globe of universe. So many things going on layers of layers on top of each other until nobody can understand where they 'really' are.

I, too, am often overwhelmed at the amount of information that ran across me heavily like trucks pressing on old feable roads until long streaks and grooves become imprinted on them. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy and always having a goal to go for and to wish towards. But that doesn't mean that the world isn't at all stressful. Like this photograph, can you tell what it's looking at? What the photographer was aiming at? Which part of it is more important than the rest? Which colour stands out to be the most prominent?

I had not a clue.

Sometimes, I am like that. There would come to a point where I'd be confused as to WHY I am doing the things I am always clinging on to, like that fallen man clinging onto the roots of trees at the edge of a waterfall. So tightly and determined are some of my convictions but when I look at the big picture, the big whirl where nothing seems to focus, those beliefs of mine seem ridiculously miniscule. Like the lost focus of the picture, my eyes, the windows of my souls, are blurry now. I can't see what I used to. I can't tell which is more important and which is not.

I am lost.

It must have been about a year ago when I first met T. I still remember how, under the sunlit world, T. welcomed me into his arms with big smiles and excessive warmth. I was excited and immediately warmed towards him. I fell in love in a way completely different than I did with Vanny. It's funny how ONE human being is capable of having so much love and so many different kinds. Vanny's coolness and his incredible sense of aesthetics draws me toward him like the candle light seeping out irresistable messages of firey passion to airy moths who never could resist the temptation.

I too, could not.

But T. is different. His fun character bewitches me and takes me to so many places I would never dream of going. Looking out from his home, I could see murderous men who backstabbed their friends for fame and money. I could witness the works of love and the tears of compassion. I saw great men doing great works but I also cried at the scenes of scoundrels' wrongdoings. The world of T. can't be more real than reality. Being with him has taught me so much about the importance of practicality and the cruelty of survival in this selfish world.

He once told me: " Look to the sun in a heavily snowed-in day, and you'll feel better." There's always goign to be a silver-lining embeded in the dark-tinted clouds. And I guess that's how you gotta be if you wanna survive. Being prepared for the worst, develop a GOOD efficient plan and stick to it, and then it'll just leave up to faith to make everythign come together.

Without a doubt, T. has taught me much. The rest is up to me to survive with him. =)

I wonder what people thought of Elizabethtown.
(none of my friends liked it. they thought it was weird and random. ) =(

I felt the movie was random at first but once you caught on with what the director was up to, it became rather entertaining and inspiring.

Here are some quotes that I found intriquing:
"His death was only the beginning of his misery."
"Some music needs air, roll down your window."
"fast not forward".