I am a cross-hybrid between a Canadian and a Taiwanese. Not that I am a mix, mind you, my parents are both in Taiwan and I came to Canada not 8 years ago. Although by blood, I am a Chinese from head to toe, these two different cultures have shaped me into someone that is more or less an 'in-between' sort of a person. I have a wide range of interests. They range from the musical, theatrical, and literary performing arts like playing the piano, dancing, and writing and photographing to that of the science. I currently enrolled in a four-year-program in Pharmacy at the University of Toronto. And yes, I will become a pharmacist when I finish a school. But that is not the only goal in life I have planned. I plan to become a well-rounded pharmacist and a well-educated person in just about everything. Sometimes I feel I am like the scrambling machine. I can use anything that I get and can get from the outside and spit them out in unlimited different ways to spice things up. I would like to help my patients not only get better physically but also to build a strong and healthy mind about life. I would like to explore and learn about other kinds of passion and ways to express passions other people have ABOUT life. Of course, to do all of these, I must be eqipped with skills. There are many skills that I have but none of them are specialized. I need to work on my communication and interpersonal skills the most of all. School's taught much about acting assertively without offending anybody. It's not easy but definitley do-able if I put my mind to it. I have good enough planning and organizational skills to solve problems and deal with issues. What I need most now, is a leadership opportunity to let me piece together ALL these skills I have developed over the years. I believe that leadership is the key to become great in anything. Last but not least, if you had known me for years, you'd definitely point that that I am somebody who has an immense imagination, a contemplative mind, a wild passion for thinking. I am very big on reflections. I like reflecting on everything that I have experienced in my everyday life. This is the way I learn from my mistakes. I keep many journals for different things such as : photography, pharmacy, my social aspect of life, for books, tv-shows and movies and one that is used for my mental development. Through these journals I can write down my thoughts, my reflections and observe my growing over the years. Believe it or not, I learn so much about myself just through writing and reflecting.

so that's a LITTLE about me!

There are things, days, people and feelings that made me feel like a little snivelling, self-pitying person. They don't have to be obvious or anything. Any discreet facial expression - a slight twitch of the eyebrow, a tinge of light gone off in the eyes - is enough to get me on my feet.

That's my problem - I read too much into things and things that get in the head - things that REALLYL get in my head never really get out. I don't forget them because I constantly pull them out, count them, unfold them, twist and turn them, change them here and there, add this and minus this ...etc do whatever I want with them. By the time i've finished, the tiny little thing become magnified 10 times, 100times, 200000 times and inverted, twisted.

ahhh..

Has it really been that long since I last rode in the Train of Inspirations with my little Pen of Wonder for a ride? I had no idea how slowly time would crawl over my life as I lined up myself for a complete different zone. Off tangent. My life seems to be so much in focus now yet so completely out of proportion. It's true. I can clearly see what I am doing like an eye starring at a microscopic amoeba through a long tube of lenses - so much clarity and details. But somehow this detail stopped making sense to me as I try to orient myself with the outside world. I can see dots and lines and colours and shapes but I can't stop myself questioning 'where am i'. What happened to me before I looked into the lens? What was I doing?

Dont' get me wrong, its' a flattering position to be looking, or rather studying, at these little things in the microscope. It gives me so much pleasure just looking at them for I know that these are the things I would enjoy doing the rest of my life and regret would never come to mind. Yet somehow, something's missing in this big puzzle that's slowly being put together. I start to get scared that I would not have another chance to get at writing or music or any other stuff that I was so involved with before I bought my ticket to this 'wonderland'. God knows for how long I would be in here playing and having fun. I am slowly forgetting the old me. The me that was always so creative and inspirational. IT seems to me that muses have deserted me =(.

My mind has now been filled up with equations and sociology terms, so incredibly long that it drilled a hole in my brain. Train of thoughts have been broken into fragments and frgaments fractured into bits and pieces that are everywhere now in me. I can't seem to piece them together enough to form a painting. I've lost that little touch of magic that was at one time such an integral part of me. I am sad but I've got to go on pulling through.

Oh dear writing, will you come and pick me up for another ride?